By Cousin Avi
There are few relationships that are quite as noble as the Wingman. This word has evolved since the 20’s. its proper, military definition:
“Wingman” refers to the pattern in which fighter jets fly. There is always a lead aircraft and another which flies off the right wing of and behind the lead. This second pilot is called the “Wingman” because he or she primarily protects the lead by “watching his back.”
I personally find it beautiful, that at some point, it became evident to men and women everywhere, that this relationship is just as epic and comforting as having a buddy to approach women and men with you.
1. Be obnoxious and foolish
The point of “winging,” is to make your lead look good. If you act like an insensitive, sexist bastard, you’ll make your friend look like Drake to these hoes.
2. Lower your standards
Sometimes you need to take one for the team. C’mon guys, “real” wingmen are spiraling two thousand feet in the air getting hammered by Nazi bullets for his lead. I’m not saying you have to get hammered by a cow or anything, just flirt with the main target’s friend to avoid the inevitable ugly/fat-friend cock block.
3. Engage main-target’s male friends
This step is extremely overlooked. For this you must be likable. Nothing can shut down a sexual pursuit like a girl’s best guy friend who has been friend-zoned for like ten years and will be damned if some rando at a bar will pick up his dream girl. If you’re in with her guy friends then so is your lead, who can now be comfortable with hitting on the target.
4. Know when to leave the two love birds alone.
This should be a rule across the board, and not just applying to your established and designated wingmen. Friends really have to be more self aware as to when to leave their boy and the target to themselves. This should be the last phase. It is all in his hands at this point. Only leave them alone if you are confident that she is feeling him. This will also light a fire under his ass to make a move when you walk out of the room.
5. Be supportive
Approaching the opposite sex is obviously nerve-wrecking. The last thing your friend needs is someone calling him a “pussy” for not being able to grab an ass on the dance-floor and start grinding with a perfect ten.