Five Ways To Know She’s Lying

By Cousin Avi

There is a difference between a lie and liar. Here are some patterns and signs  to consider when dealing with a sketchy and flakey woman.
1. Elaborate lies. Large and dramatic.
Women seem to think that the bigger, more tragic lie they tell, the more it will defer any suspicion from the men they are lying to. This enormous lie is her attempt to dwarf the plans that she is lying to get out of.
 2. Avoids worlds colliding
One lie can turn into a thousand lies. For a person to make a lie become reality, they must fabricate reality. While the main lie is the punch line, the subtle descriptions and relationships that she evokes is the delivery. She knows this though, and will go through many lengths to AVOID YOUR WORLDS colliding. She will be very self conscious of the lie and be paranoid of the consequences of a glitch in her lie brought on by an interaction with her friend/family.
3. Is all “text”
This speaks for itself. Women are under the impression that men use them for sex. While this can be true, I believe in many cases women use us for our conversation and text-companionship. All women admit that all women suck. Bitches are always like “omgg i hate girls. All my friends are guys.”
They like talking  to us because we are more interesting than their girlfriends. Make sure they’re not all text and try to pursue your body the same way their pursue conversation.
4. Won’t talk to you on the phone
I mean this is a blessing in disguise because nobody actually likes talking on the phone. That being said it’s still something to look out for when dealing with a liar. If she won’t talk to you on the phone because she is around her friends and family it is because she her friends and family have no idea who you are so yeah, it’s probably not as serious as you think.
5. “Has a weird past”
“The Weird Past” is always a liar’s trump card to change the subject. A “weird past” is so fucking open-ended that it could mean something as severe as a baby-daddy or something as petty as an abortion. They want you to think the worst so that it’s a door you will never have to ask her to open and she can continue acting like a shady bitch.

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